Back at it...again

I tend to do that. To just stop. Not sure why, if it's life being so full, or lack of attention to the things that I like because I'm so busy. I choose to not beat myself up, jump back in and move on. That's my plan in the natural. In the supernatural, I know my God is just waiting on me to do a new work in me. He maintains me, prunes me, organizes my ways to his, when I let him, if I was really honest, that's not very often. I love control. I home school. Where in your life do you need to let go? I'm not sure if it's letting go of my kids, or just letting things shift and change and move the way they should. When things are the same for a long period of time and then change comes along, it can be hard. But it can also be exciting! New beginnings. Do you like change? I do, mostly. Some change I could do without, but I love new-ness. That's why I love my Jesus so much...he came to make ALL things new. Even my controlling nature can be made new to something better; surrender. Today, in the grayness of fall, I surrender. A good and exciting surrender, not a defeat. A renewal, a shift of season. A surrender that I don't have to have it all together, I don't have to know everything, I can be simply me, knowing that Jesus will love me right where I am. Things said, things unsaid, it doesn't matter. He alone is enough for me. He is my portion, I am his bride. We were born to praise him, to live for him, to direct our everything to him. As I try to maintain all my lifes stuff in the natural, it gets messy. When I rest in the supernatural love he has for me, clarity and order become like crisp water from the purest stream, touching my lips and filling me with a fresh and revived energy, a fullness that I can't describe. So why on earth do I run in the exact opposite direction? Do you?